You've been lied to about what power looks like:
Let's change that

A truly powerful world is one where we live in full-bodied embrace of our potential to create the world of our dreams.Where we know the impact of our words and choices--so we stop making excuses for the ways we've been conditioned to choose the same old bullshit.You weren't put here to play small and dominate your fierce tender heart into accepting the status quo.You came here to play full out, a sovereign cosmic god-creature in tune with universal desire and connection.

You, reading this, you're here to change the game

Unkinked uses the framework of BDSM as a mirror for understanding and releasing the painful and restrictive realities of trauma and oppression.

Would a massage therapist tell you to just “embrace your kinks” if you came to them with a painful twist in your body?Unkinked teaches you to identify and lovingly massage all those excruciatingly crunched-up areas in your psyche where your freedom of movement has been interfered with: restricted by old beliefs and and limiting ways of relating.We'll teach you to hold space for the ways fear and arousal keep us safe, and how to practice both honoring and transforming these energies.Karpman’s drama triangle serves as our roadmap for identifying and alchemizing stories of domination/Persecution, submission/Victimhood, and that oh-so-switchy Rescuer role.Judgement free zone: Only you can know what’s “kinky” within. Not interested in pathologizing your human survival here, way more fun to watch fellow gods learning to disentangle raw desire from conditioned shame. Your body isn't wrong. The way you were taught to treat it? sooo kinky.

Let's get into it:

Lesson 1:
Going Beyond BDSM- Introduction to Getting Free

In this first installment of Unkinked: VISION, we compassionately investigate kinks, disentangling raw desire from the energetic blocks that keep us from fully flowing in our embodied truth-- so we can begin to heal the relational wounds that have kept us restricted.This month’s lesson will introduce some shared language to discuss BDSM/kink, dominator culture, and trauma, and begin our exploration of Karpman’s drama triangle as a framing for “kinky” roles. Two core foundational practices for staying grounded as we venture into the shadows will be offered to round out your toolkit for this courageous work.Watch the on-your-time recording of this lesson released April 7th.and then join us for Unkinked: VOICE our live, facilitated reflection circle, on April 21st, 2023.

• ACCESS HERE

Lesson 2:
From Submissive to Creator- Recovering Safety in Surrender

We all have a a submissive self, the part of us that carries our experiences of feeling powerless. Too often these experiences become painful parts of our identity, twisting up inside us as beliefs..."I'm not good enough. The world is cruel and overwhelming. I can’t do it on my own." Our pain asks, “Am I meant to suffer?” and we must learn how to answer: “You are meant to be loved.”In this tender first stage of our journey through the kinky Karpman's drama triangle, we honor and grieve the real pain our victim/submissive self has experienced. We validate the ways it makes sense that a part of us believes in powerlessness. And, we learn to find resources in our present life that welcome this part to relax into a new reality.In this months' transformation we remember our Victim Submissive as a CREATOR. We celebrate the hard work of survival and invite the ease and rest that is necessary for our growth and wellbeing. We allow ourselves to find moments of beauty and possibility that come from the vulnerability of letting go, feeling deeply, and trusting our own joy.VISION released: Friday May 12thVOICE live meeting: Friday May 26th 3p PST

• recording coming soon

Lesson 3:
From Dominator to Champion- Alchemizing the Wisdom of Rage

Our dominator self, the persecutor, is just another flavor of victimhood. But now we're mad! How dare they hurt us? How could they be so ignorant? They deserve to suffer too... Persecutor energy is righteous, aggressive, and can feel powerful. But it can also be exhausting and isolating: keeping us hyper-vigilant, forcing divisions, and alienating us from others.This month we learn to befriend our persecutor, understanding the ways it learned to protect us with fight energy, hard limits, and critical words-- both for others and ourselves. We learn to identify the ways domination feels in our body, and skills for allowing it to vent into the world in healthy ways that are values-aligned rather than punishing.In doing this, we invite transformation from Dominant Persecutor into CHAMPION, allowing the fire of our anger and fierce values to be in service to a better world and elevate us into leadership.VISION released for members: Friday June 9thVOICE community event: June 9th through June 23rd

• recording coming soon

Lesson 4:
From Switchy Rescuer to Aligned Guide- Cultivating Integrity in Chaos

Our Switchy self can be so hard to pin down! We are so giving, so flexible, so understanding...but what is it really about? The role of Rescuer/Switch is often a chameleon, an expert masquerader: this month we invite our Switchy self to come clean about its true nature. Where do we give ourselves away out of fear of criticism and conflict, and where might we hold back out of fear of disagreement? Where do we abandon ourselves to keep things easy for other people?And...can we tell where our "helping" shows up as a form of control?This month we will teach our Rescuer Switch some boundaries and radical self care practices so it can focus its big love where it counts: within.When we take good care of ourselves and know our own needs, our relating to others is from a place of fullness and authenticity...and not just because we feel obligated to fix, save, and help to get love....or to keep ourselves feeling safe, superior, and useful.When our Rescuer Switch comes into alignment with our sovereign, Unkinked Self, we become a GUIDE, able to walk beside others as an equal: compassionate and curious without being overwhelmed by their pain or needs.VISION released for members: Friday July 7thVOICE community events: July 21st through 28th.

• coming soon

Lesson 5:
Embodied Power- Choosing Sovereignty in Relationship

We made it all around the kinky drama triangle... We've learned to honor our experiences of pain as valuable wisdom, and the roles we learned to play within them as flexible, empowered agents of transformation. Now what?When we take our Unkinked Self out into the world, we will still find lots of kinks there, and others will still bring out those kinky patterns within us. It's just part of being human! This is where our real work (and play!) happens: in relationship with other people.As we close out this time together, we explore relating to others from a place of sovereignty. Let's take our new tools for inner compassion and conflict management, our new lens for power-as-sovereignty and learn to apply them. How does this new lens change the sensations we feel or desire? How might acting from this place of sovereignty influence how others interact with us?The partnership with your Unkinked Self developed in this course is just the beginning: This final lesson will send you off with all you need to keep it growing.VISION released: Friday August 11th.

• coming soon

Why Unkinked

I created UNKINKED in part for my own creative recovery and also to offer a resource for others grappling with, healing from, and learning to navigate BDSM culture in more liberated and trauma-conscious ways.Discovering my local BDSM community in 2015, it quickly became obvious that there was a lack of compassionate awareness for the reality of systemic trauma and oppression. The role of these forces in shaping our subconscious is massive-- our cultural and childhood experiences create our core beliefs about the world and inform our identity and desires. Kinks do not simply come from nowhere.Armed with my background as a peer sex educator, a graduate degree in psychological essentialism, a hefty toolbox of trauma healing practices from my own experiences "unkinking" myself (plus a dash of esoteric and magickal sensibility #youcreateyourreality✨)...Unkinked was born.The freedom advocated for in kink spaces is a lovely thing, but it is incomplete.We leave our real power on the table when we settle for a reality where we let creative, sensual play and connection stay labelled deviant, and pretend participation in the domination game is somehow radical.Transformation of the realities of systemic violence begins within.When we have the tools to be present with the power of our own body, we can hear exactly what is needed to let our lives, values, and desires flow truly. We feel ourselves become part of a greater pattern of healing, growth, and joy.Wherever you are, and however you experience the kinks of this world, I hope you will join us on the journey to get your power UNKINKED.